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Are you in a controlling relationship?
Sexual Assault (True/False)
Teen Dating Abuse

 

Are you in a controlling relationship?

If these statements are true about your relationship, you might be in a controlling relationship. To talk about your concerns, contact 888-981-1457.

  1. My partner threatens me and/or people or animals whom I love.
  2. My partner calls me names and makes me feel bad about myself.
  3. My partner gets angry if I wear certain clothes or hang out with certain people.
  4. My partner always wants to know what I am doing and with whom I am spending my time.
  5. My partner forces me to engage in sexual activities or other things with which I am not comfortable.
  6. My partner has used physical force against me or people or animals I love.
  7. My partner isolates me from my friends and family.
  8. My partner controls all the finances and does not let me become involved.
  9. My partner has caused problems with my job or schooling, such as causing me to be late, taking away my car, or otherwise impairing my ability to work like I used to.
  10. My partner prevents me from acquiring a job at all.
  11. My partner throws things, punches walls, or engages in other physical actions against inanimate objects to intimidate me.
  12. My partner acts extremely jealous, without reason or in exaggerated amounts, with regard to people of my sexual preference, such as coworkers and old friends.
  13. My partner acts sweet after fights and apologizes and promises not to ever go off like that again, but it happens all the time.
  14. My partner makes me feel anxious, and I am very careful around them so as not to set them off.
  15. My partner teases and criticizes me in front of others.
  16. My partner threatens to engage in behaviors such as self harm if I leave.
  17. My partner says that it is my fault that we fight or that they are angry.
  18. My partner makes me feel like I will never be good enough.
  19. My partner makes excuses for their behavior, such as stress, work, my behavior, drinking, or others.
  20. My partner wants to make all the important decisions with little or no input from me.
  21. My partner doesn’t listen to me or respect my opinions. Conversations and arguments are one sided.

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Sexual Assault (True/False)

  1. If there was no physical force used, it was not rape or sexual assault.
  2. Consent can be revoked if one partner changes their mind.
  3. Women are the most common victims of sexual assault, but men can be sexually assaulted as well.
  4. A spouse cannot sexually assault or rape their spouse.
  5. Sometimes it is the victim’s fault when they are sexually assaulted.
  6. Often there is no weapon or physical force used during sexual assault, and the victim knows the perpetrator.
  7. Someone who has been drinking is unable to give consent to any sexual activity. It is sexual assault if one engages in sexual activity with a drunken person.
  8. Most rapes and sexual assaults are planned by the perpetrator and are not acts of impulse.
  9. Sexual assault has a much lower reporting and conviction rate of other crimes.
  10. Men cannot control their sexual urges, causing sexual assault.

 

Answers

  1. False. Verbal coercion and other control tactics can be used, as well as drugs and alcohol that impair a victim to resist.
  2. True. At any point during sexual activity, a person has the right to say no and be respected. If their partner does not respect their revoked consent, it is sexual assault or rape.
  3. True. 1/10 of men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.
  4. False. Although illegal, marital rape does occur and there are loopholes in some states such as Texas where the perpetrator is not charged.
  5. False. It is never a victim’s fault that they are sexually assaulted regardless of clothing worn, behavior, or any other excuse created by the perpetrator that he could not control himself.
  6. At least 80% of rapes and sexual assaults are committed by a person that the victim knows and most often, it is not weapons or physical force that is used.
  7. True. Alcohol and other drugs revokes a person’s ability to consent to sexual activity.
  8. True. They are premeditated actions used to gain control, not crimes of passion upon impulse.
  9. True. It has the lowest conviction rate of any other crime, and it is estimated that 60% of rapes and sexual assaults are never reported to the police.
  10. False. All men can control their sexual urges. Rape and sexual assault are not crimes of sexual gratification, but of control and violence.

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Teen Dating Abuse

If these statements are true about your relationship, it could be an abusive relationship. To talk about your concerns about your relationship, contact 888-981-1457.

  1. My partner prevents me from participating in school activities that I want to do.
  2. My partner gets in the way of me going to friends’ houses and parties and wants to know everyone who will be there, or demands to go with me.
  3. My partner expects me to spend all of my time with him or her.
  4. My partner insults my clothes or my looks.
  5. My partner frequently accuses me of cheating if I go out with friends.
  6. My partner lies to me.
  7. My partner physically harms me or threatens to do so.
  8. My partner has extreme jealousy even in very innocent situations.
  9. I cancel plans last minute with excuses because of my partner’s actions.
  10. My partner is constantly trying to call, text, and otherwise talk to me and find out what I’m doing.
  11. I worry a lot about making my partner mad.
  12. My grades have dropped and my weight or appearance has dramatically changed due to my relationship.
    I feel depressed.
  13. My partner tells me I will never find someone else like him or her that puts up with me.
  14. My partner wants to move faster sexually in the relationship than I do. He or she forces me to engage in acts with which I am uncomfortable.
  15. My partner makes threats of self harm if I leave.

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